Dealing with Loss

Posted on Wed Nov 6th, 2019 @ 1:18am by Lieutenant Malik Bancroft

Mission: Delta Operations
Location: Counselor's Office
Timeline: Incidentals

Frank walked to Lieutenant Bancroft's Office, it hadn't been 24 hours yet since the loss of Lieutenant Vladinichi, but he felt it was necessary to talk to someone about it. He had dealt with loss before, and battled depression after the loss of his wife and child, but the experience did not make it any easier. His ship wasn't even in the Delta Quadrant for a few hours before his ship suffered their first casualties. All of these thoughts tumbled through the fog of Frank's brain as he announced himself at the Counselor's door.

"Counselor Bancroft, it's the Captain, is now a good time?" he asked politely from outside the door.

"Come on in Captain." said Malik.

"Thank you, Counselor, I know you must be pretty busy with everything going on, thank you for taking the time to listen to an old man," Frank said with a sad smile as he entered the Counselor's office.

"My doors always open Captain." said Malik. He indicated towards the couch. "What's on your mind." asked the counselor as he walked over to where he normally sits during a session.

"I'm afraid the loss of Lieutenant Vladinichi, is weighing heavy, Counselor. I feel as though it may be clouding my judgement, and I don't want to make a rash decision based on feelings or emotions. Wow! that sounded very Vulcan. As you have most likely heard we rescued two prisoners from the Hirogen vessel. One of them was a young human girl around the age of 4 or 5."

Frank continued, "My wife June, and I had always wanted a family, when she was pregnant we were ecstatic, but after she died along with our unborn child part of me died to. I have not remarried or even had a relationship with a woman since her death. Now there is the girl here and part of me wants to take her in and raise her like she was own. To be the father that she needs, and to teach her of the sacrifice of our away team. The other part of me says that Its just guilt over Vladinichi and an old man's pipe dream of being a father."

"Any loss of a crew member is devistating, specially the ones under your command. I know that without any doubt that Vladinichi was proud to serve under you no matter how long he was aboard ship. As for the little girl, I recommand caution. Children in traumatic situations like what she's gone through tend to close themselves off if they get pushed into something too soon. Spend some time with her but don't rush it. If she wants to be with you she'll let you know." said Malik.

"Sound advice, Counselor, I think you're right. I just feel responsible for the whole blasted situation. I will talk with the Doc and see how the girl is doing. It's probably best if you visit both of the patients too. In the mean time if you think it will cause no objections I'd like to make sure the girl is taken of. We have no idea if she has family or if they're alive, but I can help take care of her. I always wanted a child of my own.." Frank trailed off as he thought of June and their unborn child.

"I'll make it a point to stop by and evaluate both patients but in the mean time lets put both of them aside and talk about what's really on your mind. I don't have to be a Betazoid to know you have something weighing heavily on your mind." Malik said. He had been a counselor for many years and could pick up a lot just by observing someones body language.

Frank sat for a few minutes, before speaking "I have begun to develop feelings for someone. It is mutual and I think we truly care about each other, but part of me is afraid to commit. I know how love lost feels and I don't know if I'm ready to be vulnerable again. If anything happened to her, I think I'd go crazy."

"Is it someone here on the ship?" said Malik. It wasn't uncommon for a CO to begin to have feelings for someone.

“Yes it is one of my Department Heads. I have done my best not to allow it to progress, but this is the first I’ve had feelings for anyone since my wife’s death. It’s like an awakening, I’m feeling things I thought were long dead and it is exhilarating yet frightening because I have more responsibility than just her or myself,” Frank rambled glad to finally discuss it with someone.

"And you are worried that if you order this individual into a situation where they may end up losing their life you might never forgive yourself for that decision. Right?" asked Malik.

"That's part of it, I also don't want it to cause jealousy, or be seen as favoritism. I fear it would cause a decline in morale," Frank confided.

"That's understandable, but I don't think anyone would ever feel jealously towards you about your feelings towards another person. I mean you do have a right to love again do you not?" said the counselor. "Besides I think that seeing the captain happy might boost morale more than you think."

"That is a good point Counselor, thank you. I will definitely consider your advice." Frank stood, feeling better after their discussion, "I need to return to the bridge, Counselor, but I do thank you for your time."

"You are welcome here anytime captain." Malik said as he stood up from his chair. He had always stood when someone had finished a session with him. To him it wasn't only proper manors but it was respectful.

:off: